Monday, May 16, 2011

Toronto - Beirut - Paris Journal. Day 0 - If I'm Dyin', I'm Flyin'

My dad, brother, and I decided to fly out on Friday the 13th to a politically unstable country (and my homeland from my dad's side), then to Paris during the G20 summit (which will surely involve rioting of some kind). This journal covers my daily experiences hoping to cheat certain misfortune.


7 hour flight to Paris.

First time using Air France. Seats were REALLY uncomfortable – very narrow and I have a hard time imagining anyone but skinny people having enough ass room. Entertainment selection was very limited. Watched No Strings Attached – good twist on the typical romantic comedy…Portman’s character was a heartbreaking bitch. But goddamn I’ve been starting to really notice her hotness lately. A bit of turbulence, but I’m used to that. Tried to sleep, but just ended up laying in my seat for 2 hours with my eyes closed.
Enjoyed the view of the countryside as we flew into Charles-De-Gaulle airport. Green fields, tiny hamlets and villages, little clumps of forestry… it looked like the early stages of a game of Civilization were unfolding beneath me. Nobody clapped when we landed! As a child, every summer my brother and I flew between the UAE and Ukraine or Hungary, and right as we hit the ground and the plane completed its descent the entire plane-ful of people would burst into applause. Maybe that’s a third world thing? Or a 90s thing?

3 hour layover in Paris.

Only 15 minutes of free Wi-Fi?! I manage to send a quick FB message and tweet my disappointment, and have not had internet access until the posting of this journal entry. Bumming around the duty free…damn there are some expensive liquors here, 6000 Euros! We stop by a coffee shop…chocolate croissant is fine (was hoping for superlative since this IS Paris, but then again it’s also just the airport…guess I’ll hope for better next weekend when I actually visit the city), “American Coffee” is half a small cupful…shoulda ordered an Espresso. There are free PS3 kiosks in the waiting areas, which is kind of neat until you find out all they have is a crappy street soccer game.

4 hour flight to Beirut.

This time we’re flying Middle East Airlines, Lebanon’s official airline even though it’s only a small part of the Middle East. Apparently its owes its name to a first mover advantage when it came to middle eastern airlines. (I really should edit that last series of sentences). Horrible logo colour scheme and branding IMO. The most offensive part of my trip by far was the half hour of advertising that was force-fed to my eyes and ears right after the safety instructions. Basically, my screen couldn’t be turned off and the sound was blasted over the PA system. If this is the future of travel (advertising revenue to offset cheaper plane tickets, as alluded to by my marketing prof last year), then I’d like a warning when signing up, and significantly cheaper plane tickets. Hell, I’ll even fill out surveys and perform research studies if it means my flight’s cheaper. Just let me know beforehand, because this coming out of left field totally turned me off. But at least my ass fit in the seats, unlike with Air France.

This time there was clapping when we landed! I guess it is a third world thing :/. Maybe we’ve learned to better appreciate and get excited for when we don’t die.

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